Friday, December 24, 2010

You'll love this one, Broeckchen

So I wake up Christmas morning and all my colleagues are already awake, sitting in a semicircle around my bed watching me sleep. Just so everybody knows, that's not normal behaviour amongst Touched, although sometimes when they get too Taken they will just sit there and stare at people for a while, so I guess you could say it's like a very, very extreme version of normal behaviour.

Naturally, once I noticed them all sitting there I assumed they were going to kill me and flew upright in a panic, ready to defend myself to the death. Turns out they just wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas and give me some presents. So yeah, kinda awkward. Unsurprisingly, it was apparently James' idea to do so in such a manner, and he's also at least obliquely responsible for the presents I got. Or the present I got and the present I'm meant to pass on. Or the Christmas cards. I'm not really sure what they're meant to be.

If that sounds confusing then perhaps you'd like to see for yourself (I've just discovered you can directly upload pictures to a blog, by the way, so bear with me as I abuse this function):

The back of my 'card', which was clearly done in case I was having trouble figuring out who it was for.

And on the front: some carols that immediately made me think of you and your Santa theory, Broeckchen. I actually laughed out loud when I read it, which the particular Taken responsible for the drawing seemed to appreciate. You all get this one a little larger, since it's kind of hard to read at the standard size.

Something which I'm supposed to pass on to my brother, obviously. And yes, I know what the bold letters say. I do consider it to be obvious, but it falls short in achieving perfect, so I'm still not planning on spending time with family this Christmas, if you know what I mean. I did consider it, but a Christmas email from Ben begging me to talk to him if I'm still alive (you know, the usual stuff) and recounting his day up until lunch and when he sent the email (which was uneventful to say the least) has reassured me. I am keeping an eye out for, shall we say, the perfect gift, though.

And last but not least: the back of Ben's card, which explains why I'm meant to be passing it on. I don't know what that sticker is on the cardboard, but it doesn't say anything legible and appears to have once been some sort of shipping information for the box the card was taken from, so I'm not too worried about it's significance.

All in all, it's pretty standard fare. To give you an idea, I've quite literally received coded messages from my colleagues telling me we need more milk, as surreal as that sounds. That was back when we had a working fridge, though, so I guess it's just suggestions for what I should do with my life from now on. So don't panic. I live with six Touched, three of which have been Taken - sending coded messages to each other is how they pass the time. This kind of thing wouldn't even be noteworthy if it weren't Christmas.

Speaking of, boxing day looks to be shaping up for a trip around half of fricken Australia, if James' talk about a "holy pilgrimage across our homeland when we wake tomorrow" translates as directly as it sounds it should. That would be the trip to everybody in my phone-book I mentioned, which I assumed we were going to be planning more thoroughly. It would appear I have no such luck. All I know is that if we do go I'm going to be posting a whole lot less until we get back (if we get back, I don't really know what his plan is or where he intends for us to finish up at), but I'll try to make up for it content-wise. 

I'm toying with an idea to write up profiles for everybody we talk to so you can all get to know my various contacts and colleagues for a bit more insight into how our operations go, but there's a lot I'm not allowed to say that I'll have to work around, and it's not like this thing is consistent across even two separate groups, so you never know.

I guess we'll see. And before anyone asks: yes, those few shots of my fingers are all you're ever going to see of me. If you're lucky you might get more shots of my fingers at some later date while I hold up other things I want photographed. Wouldn't that be fun?

Anyway, I've got some things I need to sort out, so Merry Christmas everybody, and I hope your holidays are good. I might be back later today to chat it up in the comments, I might not. We'll see.


  1. You're right; that is surreal. You're saying these guys do this all the time? And how long do you reckon they were actually watching you?

    Though I must admit, whoever drew that final card with TPF in it has quite a a bit of artistic talent. Kudos.

    Good luck on your business trip, Andrew. Merry X-mas! Stay sane, safe, and in contact!

  2. Which one is 'this', that they do all the time? If you mean stare at people vacantly for hours, then yes, and if you mean write in code, then also yes. They just don't usually all gang up and stare at one person while they sleep. It freaked the hell out of me to say the least, though I don't have the faintest clue how long they were doing it for. Touched tend to experience a warped perception of time, even if they're experiencing it normally, so it could've been hours. It was probably just minutes, though. I hope.

    And I'm sure whichever one of my colleagues did it would thank you, if he didn't want you dead.

  3. On principle, that is. I don't think he wants you, specifically, dead.

    Uh... Just thought I'd make that clear.

  4. *stares blankly on this entry with an open mouth*
    Yes, you were right, I love that.
    And hey, I'm starring in the title of a blogpost again. *laughs* I want to thank everybody who helped me achieve this. So thanks to Andrew, Andrew and ME! XD

    Excuse me now, I'm going to lie down now to stare on my ceiling being stunned by the content of this entry.

  5. Those finger pictures are pretty daring. don't see me posting picture of my fingers all over the internet.

    I still have a few notes Holloweds have given me over the past few months (except for the death threats). Feels kinda weird to throw away the last of somebody's humanity.

    - M

  6. It seems kind of strange to wish you a Merry Christmas in your situation, but I suppose you get your normality where you can take it, so Merry Christmas, Andrew. Or rather, happy Boxing Day now.

    Keep safe during your trip. I hope nothing untoward happens.

    - Red

  7. Thanks all for the Christmas wishes.

    @Broeckchen, it's nice to know I can still impress people :P

    @M, I do the same with all the scribblings I get. They seem to mean well with them, for the most part and I feel the same about throwing them out.

    Anyway, we're Just stopping by to grab coffee before we leave for the 'pilgrimage', if you're all wondering where I'm posting from. On that note, I've left the new girl in charge of looking after everybody else while we're gone, since she's the most there of my colleagues and for some reason James decided only one of them gets to come with us.

    Anyway, James is insisting we leave, since he 'doesn't have time to entertain [my] deviant hobbies', so I guess I'll see you all around.

    Stay safe, and while I plan to post something before the new year if I can, I honestly have no idea if I'll be able to. So if I don't see you all, have a enjoyable and safe new year, too.

  8. >.<

    An** enjoyable and safe new year.

    Fricken typos.

  9. *shakes head*
    Man, Broeckchen, what is it with you and people named Andrew?

    In all honesty, I don't know if this post is terrifying or hilarious. Either way, I hope your Christmas is a good one.


  10. You have to love how the guy who worships a creature that seems to embody terror itself and wishes Christmas to a coworker by getting together with friends to watch him sleep before giving him coded messages/threats on cardboard is calling blogging a 'deviant hobby' of all things.

    Anyway, happy Boxing Day and good luck. :)

  11. Oh. My. Gosh.

    I... understand everything now! The Operator symbol represents a crosshair! All we need to do to kill it is shoot it in the head with a sniper rifle! XP