Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I went to the Fireworks tonight because I had nothing better to do

He was there. Just standing there watching from way off in the distance under a lamp post, all alone. It wasn't too crowded where I was because I'd chosen a further away and higher up place to watch from than right in the middle of the action, but there was still plenty of people, and He was just standing there in the pool of light, all alone. He looked as human as I'd ever seen Him, though His arms were still far too long and just tapered off to a little curled point and He was almost too tall to fit under the light, but that wasn't even the worst part.

I could hear Him singing. That's not even the right word, but it's the closest you could get and it's what I'm going with. It wasn't exactly the kind of thing you hear - I more felt it, but it was a kind of weird hum or a whine that makes your teeth hurt, only they just tingled instead and it wasn't actually doing anything to my teeth, if that makes sense.

Reading it back I don't know if that captures it properly, but it's the best I can do. There was a tune, too, kind of off-beat and low, though I know I'll never remember it properly.

The worst part, though, was that I wasn't scared. It felt like coming home listening to that song, like there was a pull in my chest dragging me towards Him, or down, or somewhere not quite on this plane of existence that I can only describe as one second ago and a little to the left, even if that makes absolutely no sense.

It's started - of that I'm sure. Today's the day I get offered a promotion, and regardless of my say in it, I doubt it will be long before I accept it. So, there are some obvious things I'm going to have to do.

James once said "Safety can Only be fOund in eterNal service.", and I think I know what he meant, listening to that song - I think he was referring to tonight and the events of the past few days, after which I'm sure there'll be little time for what's left of my sanity. I'm going to convince James to let me steal a car tomorrow, so we can complete our trip a little earlier and let us get back home quicker so I don't lose it somewhere unfamiliar.


  1. Please try to hold on, Andrew. Your brother's still out there, and he hasn't forgotten you. We're still here if you need to talk.

    Stay safe and sane as always. Write as soon as you can.

  2. I think I know exactly what you mean, Jekyll. Well, not exactly, but...the whole somewhat indescribable feeling. Can't say that I've heard singing, but I've definitely felt a pull.

    Congratulations on the impending promotion and all, though. Although I'd still advise you to keep your eyes open for other job offers. There are probably some with a better work atmosphere, and probably pay better as well.

  3. Woah. I wonder what it'd be like to hear Him sing. I've never been so lucky. (if that's what you'd call it.)

    Stay safe, and hold onto that sanity. Think of your brother. And of us, we're rooting for you.

  4. Keep it together, Andrew. You can do this. You've held out this long.

    You want to be yourself when you see Ben again. Hold onto that.

    Happy Australia Day. Keep safe and sane.

    - Red

  5. Aw crap. Now I'm scared of reading the next post.