Saturday, January 15, 2011

Ugh. Haven't slept in hours

Edit: That title would make a whole lot more sense as "Ugh. Haven't been able to get to sleep all night", which is what I meant to say but failed to because I was half asleep when I started writing this yesterday (incidentally, I'm having trouble sleeping tonight, too, in case the late hour didn't tip you off). Hopefully you all got the picture.

There's so totally wi-fi across the road from where we've broken into, but it keeps dropping in and out so I don't know how much I'll get done before James wakes up and pulls me away from my 'Heretical pursuits'. Travelling's really been messing with my head lately and I haven't heard from Ben in forever, so forgive me if this entire thing is massively disjointed and train-of-thought in style. Not that I'm panicking. The guy's doing a tour of Europe - I don't exactly expect an email everyday.

The last one I did get was worrying in the extreme, though, so maybe I'm not panicking and just worried. Apparently, while driving through Germany he got massively creeped out by the Black Forest and a whole bunch of foggy mountains and bare trees in Italy and Switzerland. They're the only bad parts of the trip he's mentioned so far, and I don't think anybody'll miss the obvious implication. For anybody living under a rock, I've heard tell that the Boss's head office is in Germany so if there's anywhere He could show up without prior warning or cause then it's definitely there. I'm not going to panic and do anything stupid because there's absolutely nothing I can do so far away and whilst being watched 24/7, but I want it on record that I'm not enjoying the situation I'm in at the moment. I guess I just have to wait, even if it's killing me.

On another note, I think Hosozukuri (you might know her as the (Minstrel), if you're into the 'Core Theory') is getting worse, which is a damn shame because I've always loved her music. Depression's a symptom just like the lost time and atypical behaviour (3341, in this case) and it's all piling up faster than I'd like. That and the fact some colleague of mine is hanging around doesn't bode well. Not that I've met the colleague - since Hosozukuri probably isn't even Australian. There's no way to tell if she's experiencing any other symptoms, though, because you never know what a person's leaving out of their blog. It's not looking good at any rate. Like I said, I love her work and it's a damn shame.

Um, that's all I wanted to write about, I think, apart from a headache that I hope to God is the result of far too little sleep for a week and not an upcoming 'performance review'. Oh yeah - on that note, the overwhelming urge to write that made me start the blog has gone. It disappeared a little after the Solstice, in fact. I'm not going to up and leave or anything so don't panic, I just didn't think to mention it until now because it's not all that important. I figure it's something you all deserve to know anyway, though. Full disclosure and all that.

Apart from that, I promise I'm writing up everything I've done while away from the Internet, I swear. It's just a whole lot of rather boring stuff interrupted occasionally by an interesting anecdote or two, so it's taking a bit to get through and cut down to something that's still interesting.


  1. The urge left after Solstice? That's weird, because...well, I stopped feeling like you know who was after me for a little while after Solstice. Do you think it means something?

    (I understand if you don't think you can talk about it, though.)


  2. So your brother hasn't mentioned anything other than just that 'creepy feeling'? That's a relief, at least.

    No worries about the 'urge' leaving - not like you're obligated to do this or anything. I'm glad you're not leaving, though.

    However, if you're having a tough time writing everything out, maybe you SHOULD take a break - especially considering your headache. Boss-caused or not, a good rest would help.

    Stay safe and sane, Andrew. Good luck.

  3. Let's hope Ben's creepy feeling stays at just that. If that's the worst that happens to him, you're laughing. In a sense, at least.

    As always, keep safe and get some rest.

    - Red

  4. Erm...I know I really have no say in this, but could you please just not mention Germany? For my sake?


  5. @Alora - it probably does mean something, but I'm never one for theories so I couldn't say what for sure. If I were forced to guess I'd probably go with whatever everybody thought made the Solstice so important affecting Him and in turn me.

    @Mar - it's less of a hard time writing and more of a hard time finding time to write. James is keeping me busy on this trip, and sometimes I think it's on purpose.

    Still @Mar but also @Red - Thanks for the well-wishes and I hope creepy is as bad as it gets, too.

    @Andrew - Sure, I guess. I think I know what you're getting at and I'm more than happy to oblige, but he's not going back so I don't think it'll come up again anyway. A word of advice, though? Avoiding a fact simply because it is uncomfortable will only impede your ability to deal with its reality.

  6. Hiya!

    Don't you worry too much. You've got the more reliable sources, but honestly: If there were victims from Europe, word would already have gotten out to the world about that. Especially Germany. I mean: Here even the cities are effing full of trees. And playgrounds. And playgrounds with trees on them.
    But since Germans are quite anglophile and Web2.0-phile, if there had been victims, they would have been blogging and tweeting and researching on it like hell. So whoever told you that your Boss had His headquearters over here *could* be lying, since the stories about SM and the belief in Him is best spread in the countries were English is the mother tongue. Especially the USA.

    German woods and Swiss mountains are just creepy for trolls, the Fair Folk and dwarves. ^^° Naw, I'm kind of joking. Honestly though: German forests tend to be creepy for no good reason. That is why most creepy characters of German fairy tales, like witches, evil dwarves or big bad wolves, were said to live there. There could be something worth worrying about, though - of course. And you should stay alert. But before it's robbing you of every last bit of energy and calm, think about that for a minute. ^^

  7. Hey, Broeckchen, as long as you're safe, I'm not worried. Still, that's why I'd rather him stay over here than over there.


  8. Are you sure? There's always been whispers of Germany being important (sorry Andrew), though I will admit to them never amounting to more than whispers. There are quite a few stories from World War II, though I guess you could attribute them to the whole convergence of suffering thing going on.

    I guess the main question is whether Der Ritter is a story we told about Him that's become true, or just a fabricated woodcutting in a paranormal image thread, because if it is something we made true retroactively, then there's at least a historical precedent.

    I dunno. We're getting into wild mass guessing territory here, which is not something I like to do. Either way, I'm not such a fan of creepy forests bothering my brother, but I guess I have to live with it for now.

  9. Well, World War II might be exactly the reason for Him being weaker over here.
    Directly after the war there were three things everywhere: the bad consequences of the war (poverty, destruction, etc.), shame for the bad things done in the war and influences from other cultures (read: The Allied countries).

    In terms of destruction and poverty, Germany has long since recovered. So there's no convergence of suffering anymore. And now to the other things: The shame of what the Germans did in WWII and the influences from other countries. In Germany, students get it hammered in their head every effing single year at school how bad Germany was, and how much we all should be ashamed for our country and it's deeds. The result? There's no such thing as patriotism in Germany. If you're German and dare to hum the national anthem on the street, people will look at you funny or even slightly mad. Being a German is nothing you may be proud of, that pride is kind of forbidden. It doesn't help that there's a strong "left" lobby now, the so-called Antifa which fights hard against everything with resemblance to a Nazi. Even if it's just a football fan happening to come home from having watched a game between two country-teams, Germany being one of them.

    Now a step further. What happens when the citizens of a country are ashamed of it's past? Right, they bury it's culture, identifying themselves with other cultures they prefer over their own. It doesn't help that two intense wars have buried a lot of important cultural sources under the ruins of our country. I should probably also mention here that everything Hitler did was deemed bad and destroyed as good as possible - even things like the documentation from a project to collect everything about regional culture, traditions and architecture, knowledge of which began to cease even back then already.

    There's no German culture anymore.
    Most of the people in my generation never have read the "Struwwelpeter", despite it being one of the most popular books of the victorian time. Even people who are older than me often just shrug when you ask them who rescued Red Riding Hood from the stomach of the wolf and if you ask them for *real* folklore, like the Nibelungen Saga, the Fair Folk or the Spiritus Familiaris - don't be surprised if they just ask back: "What's that?"

    There are tons of German folklore and culture lost to time. Our modern culture is nothing but a mix from other cultures, the USA having the most influence on that mix. So even if "Der Ritter" *was* a real part of German folkore - which is absoluteley possible! - people have long since forgotten about Him here. They had more important things to care about and now, they don't care for legends and fairy tales anymore at all. At least not for their own.

    The logical conclusion would be that if your Boss existed prior to the SA-thread, He might have been "born" in Germany. He might have been powerful there. But if that power didn't cease earlier already, WWII probably was what stopped Him being powerful over here. And Northamerica being involved in it so intense might be the link responsible for Him leaving Germany, going to a much greater territory with many more possible prey.

    That would make sense, wouldn't it? A lot of jews went to America for refuge and a lot of American soldiers were here and went back home then. He would have had plenty opportunity back then.

  10. That actually makes an awful lot of sense, now that I think about it. You're right about the whole lack of an observable presence in Germany at present and something akin to a migration to America once WWII wrapped up does sound like His style. In fact, and I'm going against my own personal policy here theorizing without at least some hard facts to back it up, but I wouldn't be surprised if He used the opportunity to disseminate Himself everywhere possible.

    It certainly sounds like something He'd do, and even though I don't have much evidence for this either, it's always been my personal belief that He's been sticking with the largest and most impressive civilizations and their associated cultures since man existed and moving Himself to the next most impressive one whenever the civilization supporting the culture He was feeding upon collapsed.

    Which would explain why He's pretty much everywhere, now.

    He never had a culture that spanned the globe until after WWII came to Germany and drew Him there as something of a perfect feeding ground. Then, once Hitler's Germany and the associated culture collapsed it was all too easy to spread Himself everywhere all at once, what with practically every country on Earth being involved at least tangentially in WWII with the exact same cultural elements (regarding the war) in all of them.

  11. To be honest, I think He didn't manage that everywhere part already. But He found out a good way to get there. The American culture is the most influential one on the rest of the world. People all over the world learn and use the English language. And then think about all the countries in which it already *is* the mother tongue! To infect the USA is a really safe way to infect the whole world.

    Especially since the USA was one of the main reasons for His possibly former infection device to lose the war. If Hitler had been successfull, Germany would have spread over the world, infecting it with your Boss. But... we were losers, and why bother with losers when you can change to the winning team?

    I don't believe that he's everywhere now because... Just look at what we have. Tons of blogs and vlogs and pictures and so on. But if you look closely enough, you notice that seemingly all of those are from countries with English as mother tongue. There's talk about the SM having appeared in creative worky before, like "Nightmare before Christmas", the games of Yahtzee or the comic YU+ME. And all of these works originate in countries with English as a mother tongue. The only works we know of that seem to refer to Him from other countries are German. And they're older than - whoops - WWII. Or based on what people already read or saw about Him.

    "He's riding the words." just occured to me. But that's my inner Denker und Dichter ("Thinker and Poetrist").

    Also: Yay for me making you break your policy! :D I'm kind of proud of me now...

  12. @Andrew

    Of course it makes a lot of sense. This is Broeckchen you're talking about, remember? There's a reason everyone's jealous of me, and it's not because of my blog, if you catch my drift ;).


  13. @Broekchen - "He's riding the words" sounds very, very apt. And I guess He might not be everywhere yet per se, but He has found a culture to reside in that is everywhere, or at least one that people have exposure to worldwide.

    @Andrew (that's so disorienting, writing that) - I do catch your drift, as it is not a difficult drift to catch. I am jealous of your blog, though, so nah-nah-ne-nah-nah :P

    Also staying up at night to talk to people in America/Europe is playing hell with my sleep schedule.

  14. Oh, who needs that sleet... slate... that s-thingie anyway! I mean, it's just robbing you of a lot of time you could use for far cooler things. Like... staying up at night talking to people from Europe/America!

    Waitaminute... Nope, still makes perfect sense to me.

  15. Amen to that. Sleep is for the weak and the dead.

  16. The urge to write is goe because you're doing it.Sometimes I think blogging is just a more constructive form of the notebooks. I know when I don't do it I start feeling like I nee to again.

    Also, if worse comes to worse, you could email your brother andsee how he is.

    - M

  17. Just checking to see that you're steering clear of the floods there, Andrew. I've heard terrible things about what's happening in the North, and I just wanna be sure that you're staying safe and flood-free where you are.

    - Red

  18. I'm not in the North or the South of the East Coast at the moment, but even saying that's giving me a bit of a headache so that's all you get. We've written off visiting the North for a while, due to the weather, so the trip's probably going to be cut short because of that.

    And you're probably right about the blogging, M. I never thought of that. I'm not emailing Ben, though. There's no way I'm doing that. I'm here to keep him out of it.

  19. Just caught up with this today. I have to admit, Andrew, that you kind of disgust me. But you're smart. I like that. Seems to me that you hate your boss, but working for him saves your skin

    You're a huge bastard, but damned if I don't love you for it. Hope you don't get fired anytime soon.

  20. Broechken (apologies if I've misspelled that), if the images on that thread are genuine, the Black King's reign may stretch back as far as the Lower Kingdom of the Nisle's pinnacle. Currently looking in to that.

  21. @Jekyll - I pray I get fired tomorrow. It's a promotion I'm worried about.

    And every man has a price. I'm sure there's something/someone you'd do anything for.

    @Thage - They don't have to be real. They just have to be believed. Or accepted. I don't know, it's not exactly clear.

  22. I know contacting him isn't an option now. Just if things get really bad. Like I said, do it before it stops being an option and you regret it.

    - M

  23. Oh, no, I totally get what you're talking about. I hate what you're doing, but respect your motives.

    And either one would be bad. Getting fired means that you'll probably be getting killed soon. We wouldn't want that to happen, now would we?